Sounds like my AWESOME Great Aunt, “Mamarie”, who owned a funeral chapel from the time I was 8 yrs. old until my mid-30’s.
By far, my FAVORITE family member and mentor. (Actually the ONLY family member who I like).
I was raised in her funeral home as a child, comfortable among the caskets and corpses.
As a preteen, I used her huge, carpeted Chapel room to practice my dance routines (after hours of course!), with BoomBox in-hand! I performed in front of very-silent audience members😏..The bodies of those who happened to be lying, (open casketed), in state at the time!
That may sound disrespectful, but, it really wasn’t. Not only did I possess an inherent respect for all beings, (living or dead), my character was molded by the stoic respect which my aunt possessed in abundance.
She was as dignified as she was daffy!
Exemplary etiquette paired with equal parts eccentricity!
I worked in her chapel as a teen, every summer. I helped with ambulance calls, manned the Funeral Home phone line at all hours of the day and night with the crisp professionalism of a 40 year old at the mere age of 13, and eagerly filled in wherever I was able or allowed.
From dusting caskets to helping carry in newly-deceased bodies on stretchers, to washing/styling an older woman’s hair; all while having to rigidly-guard her face and the freshly-applied “funeral makeup”.
The heavy, waxy, embalmer’s putty, which would melt under the blistering heat of the “operating room” blow dryer.
*I must note that the “Operating Room”, (softer lingo dubbed for the family members who
-literally-, couldn’t stomach the words “Embalming Room”), which was literally on the other side of the kitchen wall!😂😆😅
The whirring and grinding of the Bone Saw, which could be heard, (and felt), through the paper-thin wall which separated the 2 rooms, oftentimes, had the ability to produce an unappetizing effect while eating a midday ham sandwich at the kitchen table!
I spent an enormous amount of time alone on the Funeral-Chapel-side of her huge, turn-of-the-century, 4-storied, Victorian.
I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT! Mainly, I was grateful to be of service to an utter Goddess Of A Woman.
A woman so uniquely-rare..Possessing an unwavering depth of service, strength, grace, FAITH and finesse.
So rare, in fact, that her ability to teach and connect me to life’s lessons; the good, the bad, the miraculous and the devastating in such a “matter-of-fact manner”, was the Gem of my life.
Anything that she spoke to me or showed to me, was far-less terrifying than living any given day with my mentally-unstable mother.
I saw, heard and experienced what most adults would run away from in horror, but, it was REAL LIFE.
I Loved It, I Loved Her🫶🏼
I’ll leave you with this “Mamarie quote”, which she often reminded me of prior to preparing me to spend hours alone with the bodies:
“It’s only the LIVE ONES that can hurt you…”
Such Sage words!
Words, which, when weighed against ALL of my life experiences, from the mystic to the mundane, are.. “More or Less” true!….😏☠️👽👻🤐⚰️
My subscription was about to expire and this essay made me laugh so much I will renew it now. (Also reading over my morning tea like some other commenters. Did you know you’re our morning breakfast reading, Dan??)
This is the best piece of writing I've read in a loooooong time. Thank you for bringing your grandma to life off the page for us and making me laugh multiple times before I even finished my first coffee of the day.
I read a startling biography of St Francis once and definitely you could replace art/grandma with St. Francis in the one sentence. Thanks for this post.
Ooh, next time I visit my mom in Fairhaven I might have to stalk your grandmother (jk), who sounds like a damn delight. I had a bawdy and fascinating Aunt Claire who died just as it finally dawned on me what a marvel she was, so it seems very lucky you see that about Grandma while she's around. I'm so curious what she said when you showed her this extraordinarily funny and lovely post. It's such a gift to be seen like this.
I found my spirit animal ( said just like a white woman I know) . Tell your grandma that a stranger on the internet loves her.
Sounds like my AWESOME Great Aunt, “Mamarie”, who owned a funeral chapel from the time I was 8 yrs. old until my mid-30’s.
By far, my FAVORITE family member and mentor. (Actually the ONLY family member who I like).
I was raised in her funeral home as a child, comfortable among the caskets and corpses.
As a preteen, I used her huge, carpeted Chapel room to practice my dance routines (after hours of course!), with BoomBox in-hand! I performed in front of very-silent audience members😏..The bodies of those who happened to be lying, (open casketed), in state at the time!
That may sound disrespectful, but, it really wasn’t. Not only did I possess an inherent respect for all beings, (living or dead), my character was molded by the stoic respect which my aunt possessed in abundance.
She was as dignified as she was daffy!
Exemplary etiquette paired with equal parts eccentricity!
I worked in her chapel as a teen, every summer. I helped with ambulance calls, manned the Funeral Home phone line at all hours of the day and night with the crisp professionalism of a 40 year old at the mere age of 13, and eagerly filled in wherever I was able or allowed.
From dusting caskets to helping carry in newly-deceased bodies on stretchers, to washing/styling an older woman’s hair; all while having to rigidly-guard her face and the freshly-applied “funeral makeup”.
The heavy, waxy, embalmer’s putty, which would melt under the blistering heat of the “operating room” blow dryer.
*I must note that the “Operating Room”, (softer lingo dubbed for the family members who
-literally-, couldn’t stomach the words “Embalming Room”), which was literally on the other side of the kitchen wall!😂😆😅
The whirring and grinding of the Bone Saw, which could be heard, (and felt), through the paper-thin wall which separated the 2 rooms, oftentimes, had the ability to produce an unappetizing effect while eating a midday ham sandwich at the kitchen table!
I spent an enormous amount of time alone on the Funeral-Chapel-side of her huge, turn-of-the-century, 4-storied, Victorian.
I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT! Mainly, I was grateful to be of service to an utter Goddess Of A Woman.
A woman so uniquely-rare..Possessing an unwavering depth of service, strength, grace, FAITH and finesse.
So rare, in fact, that her ability to teach and connect me to life’s lessons; the good, the bad, the miraculous and the devastating in such a “matter-of-fact manner”, was the Gem of my life.
Anything that she spoke to me or showed to me, was far-less terrifying than living any given day with my mentally-unstable mother.
I saw, heard and experienced what most adults would run away from in horror, but, it was REAL LIFE.
I Loved It, I Loved Her🫶🏼
I’ll leave you with this “Mamarie quote”, which she often reminded me of prior to preparing me to spend hours alone with the bodies:
“It’s only the LIVE ONES that can hurt you…”
Such Sage words!
Words, which, when weighed against ALL of my life experiences, from the mystic to the mundane, are.. “More or Less” true!….😏☠️👽👻🤐⚰️
... totally would've stuck around to hear Grandma's thoughts on this admin. Get that woman a Substack. 😆
My subscription was about to expire and this essay made me laugh so much I will renew it now. (Also reading over my morning tea like some other commenters. Did you know you’re our morning breakfast reading, Dan??)
This is the best piece of writing I've read in a loooooong time. Thank you for bringing your grandma to life off the page for us and making me laugh multiple times before I even finished my first coffee of the day.
I read a startling biography of St Francis once and definitely you could replace art/grandma with St. Francis in the one sentence. Thanks for this post.
Ooh, next time I visit my mom in Fairhaven I might have to stalk your grandmother (jk), who sounds like a damn delight. I had a bawdy and fascinating Aunt Claire who died just as it finally dawned on me what a marvel she was, so it seems very lucky you see that about Grandma while she's around. I'm so curious what she said when you showed her this extraordinarily funny and lovely post. It's such a gift to be seen like this.
Can your grandma adopt me? I need family like her.
She sounds awesome!